10 things my mom taught me about business and why I think it’s important

My mom always had a hustle. When I was little, I distinctly remember being carted to a warehouse where she made children’s headbands (I can still smell the hot glue guns!). For a short time, she worked at STARS, a local children’s clothing store. And for a few years she even joined a network marketing company and sold magnets, which is part of the reason I credit my beliefs in alternative therapies to my mother. 

Then she decided that it was time to do something else, so she started selling voluntary insurance when I was 9 years old. 

Her first customer was a garden nursery. Her clients slowly started to grow and she kept buying new file cabinets, which started to take over her home office and the closet in our garage, which we lovingly refer to as “The Mormon Closet.” I’ll save that story for a later date. 

A few years in, she hired a close family friend to help with administrative work. 

Then she decided to move the business out of our home and into a small office space. 

She hired 2 more people. 

A few years later, the business needed more space. So she moved to a bigger office building with a conference room and hired another person. And some more sales people joined the team. 

My mom does not talk about how much of a badass she is. And she definitely doesn’t celebrate her accomplishments. I guess that’s where I get it from…

But I am here to tell you that she is incredible. My hero actually. She has quietly built this business quite literally from the ground up. I don’t even think our extended family knows what she does. 

There were times when I was a kid that I remember wishing she was not on the phone, or didn’t have to go to work. I know it wasn’t always easy for her, in fact, I know that most of the time starting her own business was hard. I know she made trade-offs. And I know there were many days she wanted to quit and go sell shoes at Nordstrom instead. 

But what I want my mother to know and what I understand now is all that I gained from watching her build her own business into a small empire. I see now how it shaped me in very important ways.

In her pursuit of reaching for more, of pushing the limits, of creating something new, and just taking the next right step, she taught me that all things are possible. She is perhaps my greatest inspiration.

What I learned from my mother about being a business woman, about the grand balancing act of life, about falling and getting back up again, about what it means to be both strong and soft, and what hard work really looks like, is so much more valuable than a few days I wished she was the one picking me up from school. Because trust me, in the middle of her building this, she was an involved mother to me and my brother. And I KNOW that wasn’t easy. 

I am proud to say that my mom’s entrepreneurial spirit is hard-wired into my genetics. I just can’t help myself. It has been hard-wired into me that you are only here for a short time, so you might as well spend it creating something new. Something that will say you were here, long after you’re gone. 

Regardless of what you do, whether you are in the corporate world, have your own business, or are a stay at home mom, the reality is we are ALL working and we are ALL creating something every single day. In Japanese culture, they call this your ikigai: your purpose, your calling. Everyone needs an ikigai. 

Your ikigai might be your work, or it might be raising your children or maybe it is gardening or crafting. It will likely evolve and change. It is ok to do more than one thing in this life. Whatever it is, it is SOMETHING, ANYTHING that makes you feel alive and makes you sparkle. It’s your “why.”  

And that is why I think these lessons are important. I learned these lessons in the context of entrepreneurship, but they apply to anyone with an ikigai. Here goes:  

1) Everyone puts their pants on the same way in the morning. It doesn’t matter if your client is the Queen of England or the janitor. Everyone deserves the same service and respect until proven otherwise.

2) You never know who you are going to meet. That person in front of you in line at Starbucks, the person sitting next to you on the airplane, and the cashier at the grocery store might be your next lead. Be open to whoever you are supposed to meet. It may not be who you think. 

3) Do it to serve people and the money will follow. If you do it for money, it might succeed short-term, but it will absolutely fail in the long-term. Doing business isn’t really about the money or the fame, it’s about helping people. The rest takes care of itself. 

4) Let go of those who need to go. Don’t keep clients, business partners, employees, colleagues, etc. in your life because you’re worried you won’t have enough business or help or new opportunities or whatever.  The people you’re supposed to work with (and do life with!) will always find you. NO. MATTER. WHAT. There is nothing about a scarcity mindset that will attract more of what you are looking for. 

5) You’re never high up enough on the ladder to not do something or everything. My mom still cleans the office kitchen. Don’t flatter yourself. Like I said in #1, we all put our pants on the same way, and we all must do sucky things sometimes.  

6) People work with you because of who you are. Sure, you need to be good at what you do and always provide value, but your integrity and loyalty trump prices. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

7) No one is ever going to care about your business (or your life!) as much as you do. Ask for and receive help, but don’t take anything for granted. Stay engaged and remember your power. With this, if you don’t believe in your product or service or ability to help people, than who in the hell is going to believe in you? Believe in yourself FIRST, not last and definitely not only after you’ve accomplished something. 

8) Surround yourself with people you can trust, people you can laugh with, and people who love you. It’s not always going to be easy. Who you surround yourself with will make or break the hard times. Choose wisely. And once you have chosen wisely, make sure you treat them right. These people are GOLD.  

9) Don’t be scared to take risks or stretch yourself. You may fail, but it won’t be the end of the world. Really, what’s the worst-case scenario? If it’s scary, it probably means you need to take the leap. This goes for everything.   

10) Nothing in life is free. Don’t take the easy way purely out of laziness. And you better not expect freebies. Nothing worth having comes easy.  

I know my mom ever set out to start an insurance brokerage. In fact, if you ask her now what she wants to be when she grows up, she still says, “I don’t know.” 

I asked my mom recently if she was ever going to retire. Her response? 

*Cue New York accent: “What? Am I going to sit at home with your father? No, Em, I’m not retiring. Retired people die.”

Honestly, I think she was offended that I even asked. 

I hope to always have a hustle and the same kind of fire that my mom has. This is what ikigai is all about. If you haven’t read yet, move it to the top of your list. 

May there always be something in your life that lights you up and gives you a reason to get out of bed in the morning. And may you always guided by your inner fire. It knows better.